Forget

Forget

I was in grade eight,

When I met a girl by fate.

She was a senior and completely off the charts,

But was able to penetrate the interior of this stupid heart.

I met her first on the way to school,

She looked like an angel in the uniform which was the rule. 

We didn't talk much that year,

Because I was a stranger, maybe that was what she feared.

In the grade nine, our relationship was just fine.

We were friends really close, we would be together I supposed.

I remember an incident from the past,

She almost fell on me because the driver applied the brake quite fast.

I had never seen her before this close,

That may be the reason I am writing this prose.

Her beauty is what I admire,

But being with a person of personality like her is what my heart desires. 

I joined a tuition to excel in my academics,

She was in the same tuition, which is what I found dramatic.

We were standing outside, waiting for sir.

I couldn't think what to say, that's why I said to her with utmost pride,

"I will be here for a month," 

Now that I think, I can say it was utterly blunt.

But she laughed at my foolishness, her smile is what I adored,

Striking the strings of my heart like a melodic chord.

We talked and played,

She enjoyed my company like a merchant enjoys trade.

I teased her, and she did the same.

I pulled her hair, while she playfully punched or pinched, oh! it was a wonderful game.

People said that I liked her, and I thought the same.

But it was not infatuation, it was pure friendship, oh! the people should be blamed.

I liked her company and she did mine,

Because we had everything in common, that make good friends define.

I remember going out with her and attending the morning classes,

I enjoyed it so much that I can rewatch those moments always with special glasses.

It was the time for a new character in the story,

There came another girl with different glory.

I loved being with the first one that my eyes never noticed the other,

It was true that I never made myself bothered.

They say happy days do not last long,

I never believed it, I was so wrong.

The senior girl graduated from her class,

Now I was all lonely, alas!

I will accept I was selfish,

For I started talking to the new girl, to be honest, it was truly relish.

I never talked to her much, let's accept I barely even looked at her when the senior girl was here,

I was so stupid to not notice a face so fair.

Her voice was so calm and so kind,

It casts a charm on my body and my mind.

I asked her questions and recommended stories,

That is how I was able to create this beautiful memory.

She always listened to what I said and was so keen,

Talking to her made my unstable life serene.

I remember that auspicious day as clear as the sky,

When she walked towards me and asked for my number, oh! it made me so high.

The very same night my phone buzzed,

It was a simple and plain "Hi", but it was the first message she sent me, it filled my heart with abuzz.

We talked every day since that day,

It is all engraved beautifully in my memory's relay.

We discussed everything from interests to hobbies,

I thought we would be together, but don't know how we become nobodies.

We were always more than friends, we talked about erotic,

Looking back now I wonder why I behaved so idiotic.

I remember she told me about her dream,

One in which I was also present.

She said no more about it, she gave always half the information, it was her scheme,

But still there ran in my heart for her a current.

I thought we would be with each other forever,

But now she doesn't even look at me, however.

When she asked me for a relationship,

I hesitated for a bit, my heart was not ready and my mind was strong,

But still, I said yes, I remember how happy it made her, finally we had more than a friendship.

We never talked about it again, it was so long,

Before I brought it up.

She was so amazed and said, "You still remember it?"

To which I replied, "Yes."

She doesn't look that happy anymore,

I thought she was just shocked to the core.

She asked me for time,

To which I quickly agreed as refusing would be a crime.

I asked her again after a few weeks,

To which she repeated, "Give time"

I did. I asked again and again,

But seeing that it resulted in no gain,

I backed off, 

It was my first disappointment,

But I was still full of hope,

I didn't know that asking for it had no scope.

Oh this stupid heart,

It never let me play smart.

I was becoming desperate for her attention,

How and When I became obsessed with her I don't know as it was never my intention.

We stayed friends, but acted more than friends,

I never came to know if this is what she always pretends.

As we become more and more close,

She became hesitant to talk to me in tuition in front of everyone.

She felt guilty for doing it, I suppose.

I pointed it out to her numerous times,

And she would promise not to repeat this crime.

But criminals never take the right path,

Neither did she.

She always ignored me and it broke my heart.

In the chat, she was all sweet.

But in real life, she would always retreat.

She was a sweet-poison,

For which I became addicted.

I didn't notice the signs, and even if I did, my heart never believed,

For I had become convicted of loving her,

At the time when she was becoming a figure blur.

I remember a happy incident,

When I would always tease her,

Once I called her "sister" by mistake,

It shook her like an earthquake.

She started crying,

Her tears made me feel like I was dying.

It was the first time I hurt her,

I hurt her many times again.

I would ask myself why she didn't desert.

She would say then who would look after me and care,

She may be always like this is what I prayed.

Once I asked her, "Why are you acting like this? Do you not like me?"

She said, "We can't be together. There is no future for us."

At that time I felt feared and it was the first time I felt overprotective for her.

The fear of seeing her going away heightened my obsession with her.

The trouble was not enough that the fate decided to introduce a new character,

He was a fine guy and specialized in providing laughter.

He made everyone laugh and talked to her.

It was the night when we decided to out,

That was when I saw her talking to that sprout.

I saw a genuine interest in her for that guy,

I tried a lot to win her back but I failed, sigh!

I expressed my concern to her numerous times,

And she promised to not talk to that guy.

I believed her, but as always she broke her promise and it made me feel genuinely bad.

I cannot blame her for this,

She was always clear from the start that she only wanted us to be friends.

But then why did she cry when I called her sister, why did she get jealous when I talked to other girls, why did she didn't let me talk to others.

Her actions made me feel bad,

My care for her became a burden on my heart.

I got depressed, it hurt like nothing else ever could.

A thousand needles could be poked inside of me,

And I would only say, "It is nothing compared to what that one girl did to me."

I still remember that Tuesday night,

When my heart was overwhelmed by her continuous ignorance I started feeling suffocated in my own house.

I felt so lonely that I thought I was going to be crazy, despite hundreds of people around me to browse.

It was the first time I wanted to forget her.

I was genuinely scared of living that night again. 

I wanted to blame it all on her, but sadly she had no idea what I was going through.

She was just talking to that guy for entertainment, why would she care if it makes me blue.

Now that I recall those moments, I can see clearly, that it is I who is to be blamed.

It shouldn't matter to me if she was talking to someone and having fun.

I should be minding my own business and make my heart tamed.

It was hard for me to see her talking to someone else with the same interest as she used to talk to me.

I was always surprised at how quickly she was able to change her tone.

When she would talk to that guy, she would say every word with profound sweetness,

But when I was to talk to her in person, she would reply to me with a dryness in her voice and an intent of extreme disgust.

When she was texting, she would be sweet again but again on call, her voice would become arrogant and rude.

I was overprotective of her,

And I could see my fear of losing her becoming true.

I just can't stand this.

To be honest, my ego was hurt too. 

She was not a girl of exceptional beauty and no one would look at her for more than a second.

But I talked to her, I gave her attention, I listened to her problems, I helped her with her studies and her difficult time. 

"How can she forget my favours?" I would always tell myself.

My fear was becoming true,

I could see her getting away from me.

I wanted her back, it was my pursuit,

Being her friend was the only key.

So I decided to be the person she wished me to be,

I worked hard to become the friend she desired.

I shared her stress and sent her relief messages, and wishes before her exams.

I talked to her every night and asked how her paper went.

I corrected her mistakes and calmed her down.

I prayed to God - which I rarely do - for her exams to go well.

But she forgot it all.

It was the Sunday of 17th December, 2023,

When she sent me a message and made me free.

She asked me not to message again and to delete her number,

She even blocked my messages on Snapchat,

It is the 26th today and I still haven't tried to chat.

I remember after a heated argument - which became frequent after the arrival of that guy,

She said to me on call that she would have blocked me,

But she is not doing it because it will impact my exams.

But she stopped talking to me right in the middle of my Pre-Boards Examination.

Now what to make of it, is something I can't comprehend,

I guess I have to move on and make her decision amend.

When I said this to my sister,

She came to know that my heart was full of blisters.

She could relate to my pain,

And taught me the consequences of this bargain.

I might have made wrong assumptions about her messages,

But my friends said the same, "She was vague and is someone I do not deserve"

After all this, I decided to wait and observe.

She was the same in the tuition after that day.

She didn't speak a single word to me,

I returned the same treatment and made her free.

I want to be angry with her,

But I cannot.

My sister hates her,

But I cannot.

I want to forget her,

But I cannot.

I want to forget her,

But I cannot.

I didn't even get a chance to say farewell,

But know this, I will always wish her well.

I genuinely saw a friend in her, even after she didn't return the same feelings,

The feelings do not live anymore inside me, but I want the friend to live.

It has been around 10 months since I started to have feelings for her.

She did say that she wished to be my friend forever and she promised that too.

But seeing her history of keeping promises, I fear this is going to be broken too.

It is hard to forget someone who cared and was beside me in times of need.

It is hard to forget that genuine soul.

I must have made a mistake which is the reason for her actions,

I only want to say that I want to meet her and want to listen to all my mistakes from her.

I am ready for any punishments that she bestows me,

But I deny everything that forbids her to be friends with me.

But I guess the time has finally come,

The moment I feared.

She told me she had a cold,

That was the reason she gave for being unable to chat,

But as my friend said, "It does not take much effort to talk for a few moments to make someone happy."

She does not know how she lights up my life,

How she ebbs out all the tensions and worries from me,

How just a simple smile on her face makes my day happy.

She does not know how much important she has been for me.

My mind says to forget her.

It says not to trust any other girl,

That all are the same.

But I can't.

There is a part of me that is so angry with her,

There is also a part of me that desires to be her friend again.

I tried to be her best friend,

I tried to become the person she wanted.

She acknowledged it too.

They why is she doing this.

Did she forget the moments we spent together,

Did she forget the things we did?

Life is surely hard,

Losing someone is unbearable.

Those who have mastered being alone win the card,

Self-love is the only thing that makes us durable.

I respect her choices,

And for that I let her go.

I have no grudge and no hatred,

I just wanted to be a friend and to share kindness.

Even though she may act now that she never even knew me,

I will not hate her.

She helped me when I needed it and showed me kindness,

This is how I will return it.

It is surely a sad thing to see a friend go,

But I will endure it.

She never asked me anything,

I suppose this is what she wished.

Thus, my friend.

I thank you for everything.

And hope that her life blooms like flowers in spring.

And she forever be happy till the very end.

Farewell!